除了加油，还是加油

才发现，原来不想飞的时候，
翅膀也会成为负担。

当全世界都在看你飞得有多高时，
会关心你的累不累的又有多少人呢？

摘自几米绘本《幸运儿》

满脑子的工事，何时才能停下来想想为什么我那么拼？突然发现，我好想好想你们，我的家人，我的朋友，你们还好吗？

走得好累，想放弃了。
每每这念头出现，
总有个恶魔/天使在喊说：不可以！

突然只想好好陪陪家人，朋友。

坚持，何时变得那么的艰难？

除了加油，还是加油。

加油！加油！加油！

It is not going to be easy, I know. Since the very first day I fill in the application form for this position.

I can see the obstacles awaiting for me in front. But Rachel, stay strong. Never give up. Never say die. Prove that you can do it.

At the end of the day, you will learn, though you will lose something.

I miss home, whenever I am stressed up. I have put so much time on doing GAS: attending meeting, reading+replying to mail, tracking my members. I can feel really feel like my whole focus now is on GAS. Tomorrow having test, the day after tomorrow I got another test. Rachel, all the best. Prove that you can do it. :)

GAS will be a blast one. Prove it. :)

The AWKWARD moment when your interviewer ask you to seduce one of the interviewers

And it happened on the very first question.

In front of 9 interviewers.

[AIESEC in UTM_Director Application]

It wasn't easy. I didn't perform well. But thanks to the interview, it made me realize how much I want that position. Right Rebecca? :)

Anyway, be steady, no matter what the result is :)

What are the 3 values you uphold the most in your life? Without this director application, I will never know how much I actually value balance in life.

How sweet it was when I woke up in the morning of the interview day, saw this pasted on the door opposite my room. Thanks Ming Ming :)

不去烦恼，才能享受当下的快乐 ：）

好久没回来这里了。你好吗？我很好。至少我是这样觉得的。一个学期过了，发现进大学容易，如何在大学里生存才是真正的考验。大学这个地方，不是说你有顶聪明的脑袋，陈恳认真读书就可混下去的。当然，大学更不是不用读书也能生存的地方。大学这地方，就像个社会，各种各样的人，包括你从没遇过的。教授也是各式各样，如果说你想有A，更他们打好关系吧！虽然不是每个教授都是这样子，但是一个就足以让你应付得措手不及了。说真的，虽然一直想保持四分，但是人算不如天算，最终还是败在不懂得与老师打好关系，得了个三点九。只想在这个学期好好努力，挽回一些分数。加油啦！一直想在朋友面前保持一副我不在乎的样子，但是我不善于假装，算了吧。就承认这件事真的打击到我。也许读着这篇文章的你会觉得我太注重成绩，我不承认也不否认，我只是觉得为什么别人办得到而我却办不到。
说到各式各样，认识的新朋友也是这样。第一年的生物程序化学工程系，我们五个不是伊斯兰教女生，经常会走在一起。应该会是很要好才对，但是终究不同的背景，非常非常不同的背景，大家没有很要好。至少我是这样觉得的，不知你们是如何觉得的呢？一个说话直接，经常导致他人生气但他却又浑然不知的印度朋友，一个受英文教育长大，不是很会说中文，任性，像个小孩那样的华人朋友，一个非常认真，会因为你无心的嘲笑而生气你，交友以帮助为重点的华人朋友，和一个从大老远的砂劳越，有着一段远距离恋情的土著朋友。这是个非常大的考验，我是这么的觉得。说太多的中文，会让那三位不谙中文的朋友感觉被边缘，只用英文，却没能真正表达到自己。比如说，有时候，我会懒惰表达自己的立场。结果跟男系友（大家都说中文）谈得开心点，就会被问说为什么你会那么兴奋？我无言，也懒惰表达自己的立场。来到大学，从没与系友一同去唱K过，为什么？大家都唱不同语言的歌。无可奈何下，大家就一同去吃晚餐，结果每次一个晚餐就是十多块。为什么？因为有位偏爱吃西餐的朋友。读到这里，也许你觉得我在这里很不开心。但也不完全是，至少至今为此，我们还能坐在一起，高谈阔论，单单这一点就已经很不简单了吧。值得开心的是，我适应下来了。前几天听到一句我觉得很贴切的一番话：

人因了解而分开，应为了解过后，只有接受或不接受，一旦不能接受，最后只好分开。

太贴切了。因为不能接受，对于你，我变得冷漠了。任性的小孩，对不起了。
就因为来到大学，我更珍惜预科班里认识的你们，教授也好，朋友也好，你们无可否认的，陪我度过了那艰辛的一年 。其实也没有很艰辛，只是那一年真的是我成长最多的一年。虽然不常见面，但一见面就是聊不完的话题，我喜欢！：D 才发现，写到这里，我的手才不知觉在键盘上打上了个笑脸。
好啦，情绪化了一番，感觉好多了。谢谢你读了我的心情笔录，这篇文章没有投诉的意思，如果得罪到了，多多包涵。我只知道如果我再压抑这些情绪，我会很不开心的。现在的我心情好多啦！；D 啊！笑脸又出现了！


再糟糕，在不开心的事，都会有变美好的一天，
不去烦恼，才能享受当下的快乐。
Rachel符宝允，你是最棒的！
加油啦！<3

All is well

Hi readers a.k.a friends, I am back again. First thing to mention is I am not going to post new year resolution here. =/ I have been saying that I want to make a list of my new year resolutions until I find it a task for me instead of my own willingness to do that, so here I am to do a little bit sharing of my life which I really enjoy doing. :)

The 3 Idiots - Farhan, Rancho, Raju. A very fantastic movie with 3 very inspiring characters in it.

Kareena Kapoor, she is really gorgeous :)

If you were to ask me what rank I will give to this movie, with no doubt I will say 10/10, 100/100, 1000/1000! This is the best movie I have ever seen, (I am not exaggerating) although I seldom watch movie. :P It brings great messages to the audiences. There are too much to say about this movie, I simply want to say that, do the thing that you really passionate in, you live for yourself, not your father, nor your mother or any other people around you. Secondly, be optimistic :) ALL IS WELL is a dialog which has been used throughout the movie. This is very true, I used to tell myself, everything will turn alright, (this phrase is still on my white board since the day I decorated the whiteboard), no matter how hard, tough the circumstance is. :) Seriously, YOU must watch this movie, just like how I urged you guys to read 'The Secret'.

Okay, that's all about the 3 Idiots.

I have been spending the whole study week in the library. I really like the quiet, peaceful, serene environment in the Perpustakaan Sultan Zanariah and we UTMers call it as PSZ. :)

Sitting at the right place and when you study until saturated, what you need to do is just turn up your head and have a look at the scenery outside the window, and start day-dreaming. :)

Taken on 8th Jan 2012 from level 5 of PSZ :) The beautiful sunset. :)

This is taken today, same place, but different scenery, what a beautiful cloudy day.

 Conclusion is, I am going to spent the rest of the study week of every semester in the library. :) I really enjoy the surprises outside the window :)

Okay, that's all about the library.

Taken long time ago, during LLDS :)

 Friday afternoon, we, CM,  Rebecca and I had been invited Shakti's mum to have lunch together. Hmmmm, I don't really like mutton but thumb up for Shakti's mum home-cooked mutton! The way her mum cooked it was just so suit my appetite. Slurrppp! :D

Hmmmm, her mother was really friendly. Her family remembered me of the Western people where they show their love to their family members without hiding. They hug, kiss, and tell each other 'I love you' without feeling weird. This will never happen to a conservative Chinese family like mine.
The visit remembered me this dialog between my dad and I when I was 6 or 7 years old.

爸爸：“Kiss 爸爸。”
开始懂得害羞的我：“不要。”

Dad used to her children to kiss him and we used to kiss him after he asked for it. But no such memory for me after that conversation. :( I love you, papa and mama. How much courage do I need to bring it out from my mouth? I wonder.

Lastly, I have another photo to share,

I miss you, we miss you, A-po :)

One night, when I was clearing the messages in my 012 number. I found out this message from my sister one and a half year ago, when A-po was still alive. This Chinese New year will be the second Chinese New Year without A-po, time flies. I miss you A-po.




Good night! :)

The very first post for 2012!

Happy New Year people! It is 11.05 p.m. of the very first day of 2012, and I am blogging here. Haha :D Hmmm.. The purpose of this blog here is to review back what I did in 2011(instead of what I did, I would like to tell you more on where I have been to, I am proud to share about it :D)  and what I am going to do, ops, may be what I want to do in 2012 :)

19 February 2011, the best moment I had in KMPh, Pesta Tahun Baru Cina where the whole bunch of Chinese of 100+ people work together and get that night done successfully :) We had been preparing it 2 months before that, it was really not easy but very worth it. We are now planning to go back toKMPh on18th-19th Feb to visit our juniors there and also attend their celebration. :) However, I am not be able to attend it :(

It was really awesome to become one of the dancers! I really enjoyed the performance :)

20th April 2011, the day I left KMPh, a place where I grew up a lot. I am really proud to say that I had my matriculation study, the 100 KiloMeters Per Hour life over there. Met bunch of new people, inspiring lecturers. We were all from different states of Malaysia, and we met each other here, just 10 months time, studied hard for final together, counted down days to go back home together, and now we are separated again. However, year in KMPh is my most wonderful year in my past 19 years. :)

Bye my 100 KM/Hr at KMPh. :)

23rd-28th February 2011, went vacation with my lovely friends: Shelly Tey, Yee Teng, Kaileen, Geik Mun and Ke Fen from KMPh to Penang. Because of them, my life at KMPh seemed so much more better. :)

When can we meet again? :)

After the Penang visit, they actually came KL and stayed in my house. :) Photo shown is taken at 天后宫.

The 3 months gap before I enter university, ya, I use university instead of UTM because at that time it was still an unknown to me, I worked at MRC. It was really not easy to become a tutor, especially when you are dealing with children. Always bear in mind, parents and teachers play an important role in raising up a kid. So take that seriously when you have your own kid.

:)

4th September 2011, the day I get enrolled into UTM. Then I met bunch of new people again, I really enjoyed meeting new people. Things that I experienced.. refer back to the previous post. :)

I am really glad that I have them as my course mates.

Malacca :)

Nevertheless, I am glad that I join AIESEC :)

AIESEC LC UTM HOT TO GO!

First recognition from AIESEC :)

Most interestingly, last night, with bunch of AIESECers from CD Team, we went up to Balai Cerapan, UTM to count down for the arrival of 2012. It was really awesome: standing on top of the hill, looking down and you caught everything into your eyes, not only that, square-dancing (2 songs was too little), barbeque. This is the best count-down I ever have. :)

12.00 a.m. 1st January 2012

That's all about my 2011 flashback. This is how I painted my 2011, now 2012 is a whole new blank paper for me, believe me, I will paint it as colorful as I can. :) New year resolution? not done yet. But for this moment, I just hope that I can stop myself from pressing the snooze button on my alarm clock every morning. Can I? Let's see tomorrow. 2011 I had been to Kuantan, Penang, Ipoh, Seremban, Johor, Malacca. *Like* So 2012 I should visit more that this number of states! Okay, new year resolution will be coming up next! (Sound familiar? Haha, this sentence was in the last post :P) By my friends a.k.a readers :D